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Last Minute Resistance (LMR)

By on December 21, 2008
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knowledge sphere smallKnowledge Sphere:

Quick Definition: The resistance that a woman puts up to physical advances before sex. LMR is different than ASD in that it is a natural, biological feeling. She can’t always consciously control LMR.


Full Definition:

LMR is an acronym for Last Minute Resistance. This term describes the feelings a woman goes through once she is in a seduction location and resists a man’s attempts at physical escalation. This is often considered to be part of her ASD or Anti-Slut Defense, but the two terms of not interchangable.

Please note:

ASD refers to the social layer of a woman’s defense system. A woman doesn’t want to appear easy or slutty and will resist sexual advances even when she is attracted to a man in order to protect her reputation.

LMR, on the other hand, is the feeling she gets like she’s betting on the house. It’s a physical, subconscious emotion, and she can’t always control it. This experience is often lamented by pickup artists and men around the world and solutions to this problem are often sought after.

Overcoming Last Minute Resistance

Overcoming Last Minute Resistance

For example, a woman might come home with a guy she met at the club and may even make out with him, but resist when it comes to taking off her panties or bra. They can even both be naked in his bed, but she might still say that she doesn’t want to have sex.

ASD is believed to be a response to societal conditioning. Most societies consider a woman who frequently has sex a slut. In the case of ASD this social conditioning overwhelms her biological desire to enjoy physical pleasure.

Other PUAs believe that the cause of LMR (as opposed to ASD) is more biological. For example, Mystery, who is one of the first to coin the term, describes LMR as a biological response that causes a woman to freeze up before having sex. Mystery claims that this response is universal, and that it evolved because of the evolutionary high stakes of having sex with a man, and because of the threat of potentially becoming pregnant and vulnerable. It feels, according to a female friend of Mystery, “Like you are betting the house on red and the roulette table is spinning.”

Whatever the cause of LMR, handling it often starts early in the interaction, using time-bridging, comfort building, and slowing down the interaction to assure the woman that the PUA is interested in more than just sex, and that he will stick around after the physical act. Other ways of dealing with LMR include using freeze-outs, making a woman feel comfortable, and assuring her that her reputation will not be affected.

Just as a man feels anxiety before approaching a woman, a woman feels a similar anxiety before she agrees to sex. Most women want to describe the sexual encounter as “one thing led to another” or “it just happened.” For this reason, asking women directly to have sex will often lead to ASD. It is also important to avoid state breaks when in the final phases of seduction and transition smoothly to sex so as not to give her an opportunity to interrupt.

Mystery gets LMR‘d

Usage:

I hit some LMR when I tried to take off her skirt, so I slowed my escalation down a little until she felt comfortable.


Related Terms: ASD, FClose, Comfort, Kino Escalation, Freeze-Out

Contributed By: Paladin

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56 Comments

  • nice site

    no means no, you date-raping jerks!

  • Thanks for the “nice site” comment :)

  • WTF?

    This is incredibly disturbing content. Women resist sex because they do not want to have sex at all, at that time or on those terms. Agreeing to some sexual contact is not a free pass to other forms of sexual contact: consent needs to be constantly negotiated. If consent is not given, then that needs to be respected. Reluctance is not an offer to be whittled down so some dude can get off. There seems little space in this kind of thought that accounts for a woman’s own desire, her lack of it is attributed to not be thought less of, as a slut, by the man. How narcissistic is that?! They just don’t want to have sex with you. They have a right to say no.

    This is absolutely misogynistic and the line of reasoning would not hold up in any court of law.

    • Bridget

      as a woman I agree %100

    • wtg

      ms. wtf, you misinterpret the article, and whoever wrote would probably agree with much of what you say…. except the attacking attitude with which you say it. an example of what most men would agree with “consent needs to be constantly negotiated.`. this article is just explaining how to make both parties involved more comfortable with sex. unfortunately you seem to intepret it as a way to take advantage of women, or even get away with something borderline illegal.

      this is an example of your attacking attitude, “There seems little space in this kind of thought that accounts for a woman’s own desire, her lack of it is attributed to not be thought less of, as a slut, by the man. How narcissistic is that?!

      first of all the article referred to the phenomenon of rejecting sexual advances because she does not want to be viewed as a slut by society in general, not the man. also, this is referring to a phenomenon, which has been observed by men. It is ASSUMED that the female is attracted and worried about her reputation. The article is not suggesting that all women always reject sex because she is worried what the man thinks. i agree that would be narcissistic but it is your poor interpretation of the subject matter that has led you to think such things. I just find it unfortunate that this is how women are interpreting pickup skills. I just think you are making it more difficult for men and women to get along. What would fail in court is your misinterpretation of the article…… not that court has anything to do with this because this is supposed to be about human relationships… but the fact that you bring up court once again show your adversarial attitude.

  • @ WTF, when I run solid game and the girl really likes me, there is no LMR. However sometimes it does come up in one night stands. I NEVER push it if the girl does not want to have sex. Rather we help them through the slight discomfort is there is a lack of trust and comfort.

  • Here are 3 types Advanced Anti-LMR tactics from a lay report that were used on a swimsuit model:
    http://www.abcsofattraction.com/blog/advanced-anti-last-minute-resistance-lmr-tactics-by-the-book/

    1) Pre-Emptive
    “It was important that I stop her before she made it about rejecting me, thereby losing control. To do this, I actually just said, “Stop. This isn’t about you rejecting me or about me rejecting you. I am just not going to have sex with you, so appreciate that we think the same way and stop being defensive.””
    2) Cold
    “I talked about how I was happy just kissing her, and that my desire for sex wasn’t a biological need, it was an appreciation for her and a desire to be closer to her.”
    3) Hot
    “I told her, several times, that, “I’m not going to fuck you because I made a promise to you.””

  • delphius

    what the fuck is this shit? if she feels like she doesnt want to at the last minute it means she never wanted to but you people were pushing her with your little techniques. there is no need to lie and reassure her that you will stick around or that her reputation is intact when you dont really care. fucking wankers, giving men a bad name.

    • Brian

      It’s called having sex with a woman you enjoy having sex with. If she says no, there’s always next time.

  • NotAToolLikeU

    You know what, this site gives men a bad name. I’m serious.

    Do you guys even bother wondering how you can keep a woman happy in the long term?

    Instead of spending your time coming up with little “tricks” to get into the pants of the next poor naive girl who comes along, why don’t you try actually listening to what SHE says and then HONESTLY ASK YOURSELVES what value you place on women besides just using them for sex.

    /facepalm all of you

    • Dan Thomas

      Because women are stupid emotional creatures, who’s actions are lead by their emotions not there logic. Logic beats emotion, so if a women says “I don’t want to have sex with u, it’s usually just an emotional thing, so if u can switch that emotion bam she’s yours” never listen to what a women says :D

      • The irony is absolutely beautiful. Thank you Dan for being such a stupid emotional creature that you can’t even understand the most basic of logic fallacies, spelling, grammar, human interactions or how to find a relationship.

        Instead have fun swimming in the primordial ooze until you dope yourself senseless from endless time alone on this earth.

        I’m heartened to know that a paleolithic vexation such as yourself has no chance of actually understanding PUA tactics and using them to escape your likely sanguine fate.

        • Dan thomas

          Dude I get enough, I have nothing to prove to you because your better than me at spelling. I’m sure knowing slightly intelligent words has got you laid plenty though right.

          Now get back to play world of war craft you little pond creature

          • Ah another intelligent response.

            Listen buddy, I know it’s hard when you’ve spent your whole life wanting attention from smart beautiful women and never getting it. It makes you kind of sad and lovesick. Then maybe makes you a little hateful, unethical and misogynistic.

            There is a better way, try practicing PUA techniques, but do so ethically. You might find something a lot better than you expect, I know I have.

            Good luck.

          • Dan thomas

            Dude everyone walks their own path with their own experiences. I’m not going to blow my own trumpet but thanks to PUA and a but of boyish charm I do well and I’m more than happy with the amount as well as the standard of women I can pick from. What ever my view on women or my methods or reasoning for following the method or mind frame is my own. Your way to opinionated on, your actually sound like a women lol. Just living your life the way you want to and take what you want from PUA and stop preaching your not going to sway anyone with your thoughts and the way you word your arguments your not trying too, u just getting vexed over things you can’t change. Chill out, read on NLP and noetic science about energy and how to either influence people and change their opinions and put across a more result based argument rather than letting of steam and noetic science about positive energy :) take care

          • How can that same reasoned and intelligent response (even if you did recommend I check out some fake sciences) come from the same person who said, “Logic beats emotion” and “women are stupid emotional creatures.”

            Were you drunk?

      • MLL

        Yeah all those IQ tests made up to make women look as intelligent as men! The tests should be less based on emotions and more based on the fact that Dan attracts stupid girls therefore his anecdotal evidence overrides facts. Facts are way too emotional. More on irrational shit according to Dan-who’s-totally-getting-laid: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientific_method
        Regardless, when you say no to that big gay bear, remember you are just being emotional. Just accept it like a pro, logic man.

        • Ha!

          Basically Dan, what we are saying, is you are on the wrong end of history.

          Grow up.

      • saavy

        Holy shit, misogynists.

  • You are all ridiculous

    Martial ARTS… teaching individuals the ART of close quarter combat.

    The ART of Pickup… teaching individuals the ART of attraction and picking up girls…

    If PUA (using science to perfect the already present ways of attracting women) is thought of as rape, then it is only fair that martial arts be thought of as teaching children to be violent warriors. This is not the case.

    REAL PUA is not magic… theres no spells on how to magically get a girl to screw you… no deception, no lies, and no playing (in REAL PUA). Players are gonna play and have played from the beginning to the end of time… PUA will continue to build genuine attraction. So what if they know how to use science to make it more graceful and easier. If that is cheating, then anyone who defends their own in a street fight with moves they learned at karate class is a cheater.

    LMR is a society trained response. just like girls play with dolls and boys play with guns. Does that mean it is WRONG to tell a little boy that it is ok to play with a doll if he wants… is it WRONG for a girl to wanna play cops and robbers… so why would it be wrong to build further comfort and show someone that sometimes what they were taught is wrong.

    In the end haters are gonna hate, but good luck with your old techniques… lemme know how they work out for you… And FYI I remain very good friends with ALL the girls that I have targeted to this DAY. As a matter of fact, I have helped them find other guys and they have been my WING. if this was so demeaning to women then why would they even contact me the next day… I am not building hookups, im building attraction. And there is still a very mutual attraction between my targets and I. Some remain sexual, and some would rather go for something more serious, but either way its still their own decision.

    Get a life you GDI AFC’s.

    • me

      Is it right to eat 1kg of chocolate every day if it apeals to you, but you will feel a remorse after eating it… (imagine it if you’re a mommy who buys it to her kids saying it is what they want: similar situation with a guy who is trying to f*ck an unexperienced girl in these kind of things). (For women commitment is a must for getting phisical with guys. )Yeah, right, it is not natural at all :) And that is exactly what is happening… So… Your argument is invalid.

  • Copy that motherf**ker… whoever @You are all ridiculous is.

  • Sasha

    Faced LMR in personal practice couple times and it might distract a lot. Just stick to the point, let it go a little and add more comfort and relaxation.

  • Cygnus

    And think is exactly what she needs to do to avoid being with losers like you. If you get thrown into jail for rape, don’t bitch and cry when some guy is butt-fucking you. You’re just getting what you deserve.

    • Bridget

      agree again. this site/term definition is kind of disturbing – should at least be teaching men that no DOES mean no and you HAVE TO STOP and can’t rape someone or coerse them

  • MJ

    Listen. When a girl says no, stop. You don’t keep pressuring her until you get the answer you want. That’s not a real yes – that’s manipulation and you know it.

    This is exactly the reason why certain organizations have “no means no” campaigns – THIS IS RAPE.

    • Brian

      LOL, is this what school has taught you? If she says no it means no! I don’t think you really know the term RAPE. Sex is a natural feeling and shouldn’t be forced or pressured. Women enjoy sex as much as men, why are you against sex so much? When a woman is attracted to you, into you, trust you, and I want to give her sex then I’m going to give it to her.

      • Brian is a rapist

        Despite what this stupid site may have taught you, you will never be able to really get inside the head of a woman. She may, and this might be a shocker to you, might actually mean it when she says “no, I don’t want to”. If you “give it to her” when she says no, that’s rape. Sorry, you might not think so. But it is. End of story. Have fun being on a sex offender list, you fucking creep.

  • If a girl really wanted a guy, she won’t put up resistance. Also if he sets a strong precedence, she’s less likely to resist later on. I.e. “I promised you a massage earlier right? Take off your shirt please.”

    There will always be comments like “rape!” or “assholes!” when in fact the underlying process her is that sometimes, women tend to put up SOME resistance right before sex. We theorize this is for biological wired reasons to make sure that the guy is worth it, or a socially conditioned response to make her seem less like a “slut”. In any case, to me, rape is a physical force against her will, and rapists should be jailed and given harsh sentences. No one should have to go through that.

    To PUAs, managing LMR is the mental connection you have with her and what she really wants to do. It has nothing to do with rape and I’m not even sure if it was worth my effort to even respond to comments of this sort.

    • alphawolf is a rapist

      Are you going to stick around afterwards? No, because that’s not what PUAs are about. You’re still using women for a quick fuck because you lack the self-esteem to deal with a real relationship. Don’t give us that bullshit about “emotionally connecting”. You’re still looking for a quick fuck and still a loser and a creep and a rapist in the making.

      And if it’s not worth it, why did you bother to begin with? :D

  • Del

    Violence or physical force is not necessarily a part of rape. So long as there’s unwillingness whether she expresses it or not, it’s rape. If you have to *make* her have sex with you or even need to coax her, she doesn’t want it and it’s rape so stop with the slimeball justifications you dumb fucks. Not all women put up resistance before sex; what the fuck is with this “slut defence” shit? Women need sex too. Your so called “biological wired reasons” needs some solid science. Where does it come from? Show me some consistent studies. Sadly none of you can. No means NO, sleazebags.

    • Bridget

      exactly! rape does not need to be physical violance – any kind of coersion is rape – the threat of violance, the fear you won’t LET them leave or change their mind, taking them to this ‘seduction location’ in itself sounds creepy and wrong with these terms used. Does SHE know its a sediction location? maybe not? Maybe she is think ‘where the HELL are we? and how do i get away from him/get home?’ some women are easily manipulated and have trouble speaking up for themselves. It is not a biological whatever that is – they don’t want to have sex with you – you manipulated them into going to some seduction location and they went along because they were afraid or easily manipulated but they NEVER intended to have sex with you and now they are at their limit of what they are willing to be manipulated into doing and they want to go home. LET THEM!

      • There is nothing in this definition about coercion. There are many biological and cultural reasons why girls might hesitate before having sex. Overcoming LMR is about making girls feel comfortable, and communicating that sex is ok, and being non-judgmental. It is not about threatening or coercion, psychological or otherwise.

        • casual is a rapist

          Says the loser on a website about “emotionally connecting” to get a one night stand under his belt and never look back again…

          • What’s wrong with one night stands? To call that rape is to trivialize the seriousness of the term.

  • With LMR, everyone's a winner

    To all the losers who are saying that LMR techniques are like rape – you obviously have no idea of what rape is. LMR is about putting a woman at ease and helping her overcome the subconscious biological uptightness she’s saddled with so that she can have a good time too. Simple. And yes, it’s results based, so what? If you’re arguing that women are dumb enough to be raped by virtue of these basic psychological tips, then it’s clearly YOU who have a low opinion of women, not us. All the LMR techniques in the world won’t convince a woman who really doesn’t want to have sex to have sex. It’s not hypnosis, you know! Everyone’s a winner. So pull the plugs out of your butts and start having sex yourselves – you might be less touchy.

    • Amen.

      • Actually, I’m all about the rape man.

    • PUAs are rapists

      And you all have no idea how women work or how to deal with a real relationship beyond a one night stand. :D

  • Dealing with LMR is not rape. But this “definition” and the way it is written makes it seem that way because it is on a Pick Up Artist site and the most common teaching model for PUAs is to teach dating like it’s a competition.

    As if the woman has a bunch of issues that a man has to overcome. Which makes sense in a way, almost everyone they are teaching to are men.

    Most PUAs today are moving away from that slowly, and towards a mindset which grants that there is really a whole other person who is involved with her own feelings and fears and desires.

    Unfortunately, this definition has not been updated.

    But, I just did that, this should explain what’s really going on behind LMR and make everyone here who thought this sounded like rape happy.

    Here you go:
    http://theattractivearts.com/2012/02/the-not-okay-no-effect-the-real-reason-for-last-minute-resistance-to-sex/

  • Shack

    I have encountered lmr on more than a handful of occasions:- my standard response is to offer support and reassurance without any show of dissapointment, then change the subject completely off the topic. This has never failed, ever, for within isually 10-15min its on again, instigated by her. This is not rape, even though there was a clear no.

  • Rini

    What part of no means no do you people not understand? Even if you *think* she might want it, if a girl ever says NO you STOP. If she wants to have sex with you, she wouldn’t be worried about being labelled as a “slut”. What female has ever told you that they worry that if they sleep with you they will be called that? Bottom line is cut the manipulation and pressuring and educate yourselves instead of pushing the boundary into rape territory.

    And Shack, “This is not rape, even though there was a clear no.”
    It’s rape.

  • Yeah Rini is right,

    So before you dicks do what you’ve done with the last people who posted about rape. Read what she wrote. All she is saying is that continuing after hearing an explicit “no” is rape. And it is.

    If you get a “no” you fucked up. She either wanted sex with you, but just not right then and you pushed too much. Or she never wanted it and you vibed all wrong and read her vibe wrong.

    Most pressuring encourages a “no.”

    Creating tension means taking pressure off after you’ve applied it.

  • Rini

    Thank you Rake. Rape does not have to be physical, it can also be psychological pressuring and use of tactics to induce an outcome with a woman that might not have happened in normal circumstances.

    I like that PUA helps guys get more confident and into more relationships but I HATE the pseudo-scientific drivel about women’s “biological” instincts. Sorry, but none of this is hard science and gender difference studies are based on a very small sample and therefore not solid evidence.

    Men and women have more in common than more differences and they are not alien creatures you need magical techniques to “game”. They are people so just treat others how you want to be treated and try to not rape them.

  • Agreed,

    Mystery is one of the worst culprits of this.

    Which I personally find ironic since his system is one of the most prolific and I personally find one of the most advanced.

    But the marketing gimmick of, “women are hardwired to …” and “this is programmed into you from caveman times.”

    It’s all such nonsense!

  • mattoro

    jesus is the very idea of not getting your dick wet worse for you than the possibility you’re going to make someone feel terrible about themselves or even psychologically scar them

    if someone seems uncomfortable or tells you to hold on then why not just have a nice old evening talking to them or whatever, go watch the stars and find out about them, christ show some fucking respect at the very least can’t PUAs just enjoy someone’s company?

    sorry to just stumble in here and yell but i’ve only just found out about this place and the mindset of the whole site seems desperately unclassy

  • Mattoro

    You’ve seen what I’ve posted and know my stance on force. So consider that when reading my response.

    A lot of times a woman does not know what she wants in the moment. There are so many variables, there are so many strong emotions, and it is often happening very fast. Sometimes too fast even at a slow pace.

    Often a “no” is honestly is just an “I don’t know, but I don’t want to equivocate.”

    Hearing a “no” means one of two things:

    1) You’ve applied enough pressure that her uncertainties become threatening.
    2) She HAS fully evaluated whether she wants it and decided that she doesn’t.

    A savvy person can tell the difference in body language. A rapist asshole may or may not be able to tell, but assumes it’s the former.

    But who cares, if she gets to a “no” at any point it doesn’t matter if it’s 1 or 2. It is time to stop because even if it’s 1, it’s not worth trying to recover.

    The ethical usage of dealing with LMR is to avoid getting 1 to happen at all. It is to help HER to clarify what she wants for herself so that SHE can make a decision much easier. So that if she gets to a “yes” or and “no” it is comfortable and fun.

    It should be noticed I am applying gender to this post both because of the forum we are in and because of the commonality of women being the one’s who are chased. This would all apply the same if a man was being seduced and was uncertain.

  • i_Live

    What does it mean if your a guy and have LMR?

    • 1. You are gay
      2. You are nervous because it is your first time or she’s too hot and you haven’t had a girl like that
      3. You sense something wrong (entrapment) or that the girl may behave unpredictably after sex and it comes with a price
      4. You already had sex 3 times that day and you can’t get hard

      • Alphawolf

        1. You are a Moron
        2. You don’t know what you are talking about
        3. You’re myopic neanderthal “science” is fucking annoying
        4. You’re giving i_Live horrible advice

        Shut up

    • It can mean a lot of shit, just like it does for a woman. But one thing it means for sure is that whatever the woman is doing to try to get you into bed (if she’s even trying) isn’t working.

      That means she’s not making the prospect of sex seem more fun than the prospect of making a mistake. The unknown is scarier than the sex is exciting?

      Are you noticing a pattern?

      It doesn’t matter if you are a man or woman. All people are led primarily by there emotions and seek to get their desires met. When they are in conflict when sex is on the line it is because of bad game or a genuine threat.

      Usually men are already desiring sex enough that they aren’t in conflict. If it is then the danger is real or the desire isn’t high enough.

      Pretty fucking simple

      • i_Live

        Thanks for explaining…cleared things up really helped!

  • JDpyro

    look, i have been at this a long time, constantly looking for the girl that i wanna fall in love with, i have been friend zoned so many times, im looking for a way to make everyones life better, not just me. i am a good person, and i will do anything at this point to show a women that. and if it means, employing so Technic then so be it. the women in my life deserve a real mad that isnt going to let them down. i have been to quiet for way to long. thank you alpha, and the other guys on this site. im learning stuff that i have seen work, but never has anyone been able to explain it to me.

  • Cave lady

    Wow. This happened to me when I was 15. We were hanky pankying in his room ( he was 20) and I said I wanted to wait until I was married or at least out of high school. Then he just ignored me and took my virginity. I bled for two weeks after, I had to sleep in the bathtub. I thought I was going to die.

    I guess what I’m saying is that it just isn’t worth it for one organism. He had enough sense to pull out too, so he could never claim he just lost control, he knew what he had planned the whole time. Pretty fucked up , huh?

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