Incongruence

Quick Definition: When one’s external representation is not an accurate reflection of their internal state, the opposite of congruence.

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Full Definition:

Incongruence occurs when the self that one presents to others does not match up with their actual self. PUAs who rely too heavily on canned routines often come off as being incongruent, because the material that they are using has nothing to do with who they really are.

Incongruence is very unattractive, because it comes across as putting on a fake facade, instead of revealing one’s true self. Women will often test to see if a PUA is being congruent through congruence tests. Failing these will cause the woman to distrust the PUA, and will likely lead to him getting blown out of set.

Incongruence can also refer to the feeling of uneasiness that one feels when they are stepping outside of their comfort zone to try something new that doesn’t feel like “you”. Such periods of discomfort are a necessary part of growth that come before one completely internalizes new beliefs and thought patterns.

Observe in the following video where the repo men remain congruent to their “tough” nature and the incongruence of the Michael Jackson wanna-be young man losing his car:

Although K says he’s a great PUA, his actions last night were incongruent with his PUA stories.

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Related Terms: Congruence, Shit Test, Alpha, Rapport, Inner Game

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Definition by Vince Lin Grow Your Game:

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