Externalized Reference Points

Knowledge Sphere:

Real Social Dynamics

Quick Definition: Refers to the reference points that PUAs use which are coming from other people or via social conditioning. These external reference points are then used by the PUA to judge him or herself.

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Full Definition:

Sometimes we derive validation from other people. People with power and social influence, whether in high school or real life, have the power to make an artist feel bad, or feel good. When we use external reference points to judge our own actions, other people’s reality your reality.

It is important to realize that sometimes, you have to abide by the rules, especially at work or with people of power that can use that power against you. Most of the time, however, social interactions usually have no influence on the PUA’s actual life. As such, awareness of externalized reference points is important for the artist to realize that really, the only thing that matters if your own judgement of yourself.

Al Pacino re-frames Mr. Traz’s ridiculous reference points to get the boys to talk. Notice his reframe to bypass the headmaster and address the committee separately, recognizing that they are the real reference points that matter:

Usage:

You’re using externalized reference points to judge your work in field. Use your own.

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Related Terms: Reference Points, Epiphany Chains, Social Conditioning, Social Programming, Social Value

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Definition by Vince Lin Grow Your Game:

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