Approval Seeking
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Quick Definition: The need to validate oneself via the approval of others. Approval seeking behavior involves a person doing things with the primary intention of gaining the approval and attention of others.
Full Definition:
Approval seeking is a very needy and unattractive behavior that pickup artists seek to eliminate, or minimize as much as possible. Approval seeking is a basic human behavior, but doing too much of it communicates that one is insecure in oneself, and that one needs the approval of other people for validation.
Approval seeking often manifests itself as bragging or qualifying in attempt to impress a target, changing one’s behavior in an attempt to “please” a woman, or any other form of outcome dependent behavior that looks to others for their approval.
Not only is approval seeking very unattractive to others, it can be devastating for one’s inner game as well, as any negative reaction by others is taken personally as a reflection of one’s self image. One of the most important lessons of pickup is to not take the reactions of others personally, and to build a solid inner confidence that is not dependent on exterior factors such as the approval of others.
Inner Game Psychology
Social psychologists argue that as a child, we need to seek approval. If a child does not get approval, validation or acceptance from an adult their chances of survival and health are at risk. Therefore, being cute and seeking approval was a survival mechanism as an infant.
As adults, we learn the importance of validating ourselves, but in truth most people still have some remnant of their infant tendencies, especially with mother and father figures.
Whenever someone approves of us, it gives us a feeling we like. The difference of this feeling differs between Alpha, beta and omega members of a tribe. For the beta and omegas, (this is theoretical and highly general, but the concept applies), these silent emotions tell us that we’re good, wanted, or in some way important.
In an alpha male, while approval of others is a nice bonus, he or she has other more solid foundations to which to base their self esteem on. This can involve their relationship bond with themselves, God, family and close friends or even an idea greater than themselves. Alphas are also more used to approval and acceptance from others, and the tipping point for feeling satisfaction from approval becomes higher and higher over time. It usually takes the approval of another Alpha male or female of its tribe to invoke the same sense of satisfaction in an Alpha than a beta or omega. This phenomenon can be seen in the spoiled cast of shows such as The Hills and celebrities like Paris Hilton and high fashion models.
The Hills Spoiled Cast
Related Terms: Alpha, Beta, DLV, DHV, Congruence
Definition by Vince Lin
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Approach Any Woman
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This article is really really good ! Perhaps the best description of the most common DLV we see all the time.