Original post by “Harmless”
First of all, it’s important to notice how she brings up her BF:
If it’s early in the sarge and she says, “I have a BF,” this does NOT mean that it’s time to do BF destroyers. This means that you did NOT attract her and that she could even be LYING to you because she doesn’t want to talk to you. So… if you get this too soon, then you need to deal with more fundamental game issues first.
If she waits until later in the sarge and brings it up reluctantly, like, “Oh, I’m kinda seeing someone,” then you know you’re IN.
THE ULTIMATE BF DESTROYER:
Ignore it. Don’t make an issue of it. The first time she brings up her BF, don’t say anything more than, “That’s cute.” Just keep gaming her. You can break this rule later when you learn to calibrate.
If she brings it up again, there are a few techniques I have that work REALLY well to make take her BF out of her mind and put YOU in his place. (Well, at least make her forget about him for long enough to go home with you.)
They’re all based on a few basic principles. Basically, you want to create a VOID in her life by letting her see that her BF is not fulfilling her needs. Then you show her that you are precisely her-void-shaped and fucking you would make everything alright.
Remember these principles:
First, if you BASH her boyfriend, she will get DEFENSIVE and support him. You’ve just anchored good feelings towards her BF and BAD feelings towards you. Bad idea. This even happens if SHE starts bashing her BF and you AGREE with her.
Second, if you try to convince her that you are better than her BF, the same thing will happen.
Third, if you talk about how awesome her BF is and exaggerate it to impossible proportions and talk about how they are destined to be together forever, this will cause her to re-evaluate her BF in YOUR TERMS… and be disappointed.
Fourth, if you talk about how horrible a BF YOU would be, and why she would never want to date you, she will start to relate that to HER experience with HER boyfriend. It’s sometimes also effective if you do this ironically, telling her how WONDERFUL you would be and then describing all your horrible traits as if they were ideal.
Fifth, use future adventures projection to have her imagining the two of you together. Use this HEAVILY. I cannot stress this enough.
Sixth, fractionate between a joking, tongue-in-cheek, “I’m just kidding” tone and serious, “Is he kidding?” tone depending on how into you she is and how attached she still is to her BF.
Seventh, use false disqualifiers a LOT. Make excuses for why you can’t be with her, especially ones that disqualify yourself. It helps if they are blatantly weak excuses. My favorite is that my other girls take up too much of my time as it is. Use these right after Future Adventures Projection too.
Eighth, just pretend that the words “I have a boyfriend” have NO MEANING at all to you. Continue as if she never said it.
Ninth, she is destined to be yours and you both know it. There is no element of NEEDINESS here.
Combine these principles (and others that I’ve forgotten, and anything IN10SE would care to add) and you can create your own BF Destroying material on the fly. Here are some routines that I’ve created while talking to girls:
(This is from a sarge with a SHB who is “kinda seeing” the manager of a trendy downtown club)
Me: “You’re a lesbian, aren’t you!”
Her: “I’m not a lesbian! But… er… I am kinda seeing someone. He’s about this tall, dark hair [starts describing the manager, who I had seen her eating dinner with after the clubs closed the previous night]”
Me: “Well, it’s a good thing that I like him.”
Me: “Well, because otherwise I’d just steal you from him, take you to a desert island, and spend a week drinking rum, sun-bathing, and skinny-dipping with you. [I could have gone on with the future adventures projection, but I decided not to.] But that will never happen. So, tell me, how long have you been ‘kinda seeing’ him?”
Her: “Oh, just a few weeks now.”
Me: “Wow, you know, just from the way your eyes are all bright and your skin is glowing, I can tell that you are totally in love with this guy. In fact, I predict that a year from now, you will be happily married with 1.5 kids and a white picket fence.” [said very tongue in cheek]
Her: “I don’t want to get married, and I certainly don’t want kids right now! I’m an independent woman!”
Me: “Of course you are. But he’s just so perfect for you! I bet he buys you flowers every day you see him. I’m sure that he is always a perfect gentleman and never even LOOKS at another girl while the two of you are together.” [note: I had been blatantly gaming girls all night, right in front of her, and getting #s.]
Other stuff to do and a general structure:
She mentions her BF and starts qualifying him somehow (“Oh, he’s so X. I love him so much”). You use this when you start a FUTURE ADVENTURES PROJECTION:
“So I suppose that since I like him and I don’t want to hurt his feelings and everything, we will have to conduct our moonlit tryst secretly. He must never know of our clandestine meetings.”
Then you build up her BF with:
“You know what? It sounds like you guys are totally in love. I can totally tell that he’s the PERFECT guy for you and you will ALWAYS be together. In fact, I bet he’ll propose to you soon and you’ll get married and have kids and live in a nice house with a white picket fence. And you know, I just couldn’t live with myself if I ruined the rest of your life with him because he is your PERFECT BOYFRIEND.”
Then she starts bashing her own boyfriend (“Well, sometimes he’s mean to me. Blah blah blah”) and you say,
“Well, if I was your boyfriend, I wouldn’t be like that at all. I would call you three times a day JUST to find out where you were and what you were doing and who you were with. I would get mad if you didn’t call me EVERY day because I would love you SOOOOO much. I would go out drinking with the guys every weekend so you could have your personal space to do whatever it is that girls do… I don’t know, cooking and cleaning and such. Oh, and I would forget all our anniversaries and break up with you on valentines day.”
So, the idea is:
She mentions the BF,
You ignore it.
She mentions him again,
You start three threads going:
One is future adventures projections of you and her having sex. But you use imagery that she can fantasize about (If you don’t know, go read a romance novel) and disqualify yourself. (“Yeah, but that will never happen.”) This raises buying temp.
The second is a thread that describes him as the ideal boyfriend so his faults are amplified. This is a DHV.
The third is a thread that describes you as a horrible boyfriend. You can do it ironically if you want. Basically, it’s a DLV and a false-disqualifier.
In fact, these anti-BF techniques work so well that I use them all the time on girls that are single too. I just start talking about past relationships or the ideal guy, etc, etc. Or I start future adventures projections about our illicit meetings, running away from the paparazzi in LA, getting pictures of us kissing in the National Enquirer, etc, etc.
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