Posted by Anders Tryka on April 16, 2010
Hi guys,Anders Tryka from Powerful Connections here,One of the questions that I hear most from guys wanting to improve their game is “what are your coolest tips on calibrating your approach to a set BEFORE you make contact, so you can get to the hook-point faster?”
The shortest answer to that question is: I don’t. As in, I don’t really believe in the hook-point as an important concept in my game. I know from my 10+ years of experience with the PUA lifestyle that the lock-in is a much more important concept to understand and apply. Pre-set calibration, to get to the longer answer, is very relevant with regards to locking in successfully, and once you master this skill, you will notice that the communication with the sets you approach will rapidly improve.
As a Master Practitioner of NLP & Hypnotherapy I have had immense fun and – at times – terror – in sifting through the applications of NLP in seduction. In spite of my ethical and moral responsibilities to condemn certain of these applications however, I find that there are several of the theoretical aspects of NLP that work to the benefit of both the PUA and the people he interacts with over the course of an evening. One of these theoretical concepts is that of “modalities,” and in this article I will walk you through how to recognize communicational patterns from a distance, and how to approach based on your observations.
“Modality” is another word for “sense” – and in NLP modality work is tremendously important in understanding another person’s model of the world, so that you may better communicate with that person, in a deeper level of rapport than otherwise. As you may know, we humans navigate through the world using our 5 modalities of sight (visual), sound (auditive), sensing (kinesthetic), smell (olfactory) and taste (gustatory). Of these modalities, the visual, auditive and kinesthetic are the primary ones, and they are the main modalities to look out for in your pre-set calibration, as well as your in-set communication.
In the world of NLP we distinguish between Primary modality, and Lead modality. The primary modality is the one we MAINLY use, and the Lead modality is the one we use FIRST in almost all situations. I.E. I may be very visually oriented (primary) – However, I have a tendency to go there only after I have activated my kinesthetic modality.
For the sake of simplicity, this article will focus solely on how to recognize from a distance which primary modalities are used, thus enabling you to better pre-calibrate your approach to a set. (If you want to read more on in-set modalities work, feel free to check out my blog, where I will be posting an article on this shortly).
People that operate primarily through their visual modality have a tendency to stand and sit up straight with their backs arched as if they were almost leaning backwards. They make gestures with their hands when they speak, as if they are almost trying to paint pictures with them to better show you what they are communicating about. The gestures will at most times be in the vertical range of the hip through neck region. They also speak very fast, which is best related to the fact that they are attempting to throw in as many descriptive words as possible.
When approaching a visual primary, use the visual traits off the bat. Arch your back, make gestures, speed up your voice and use visual predicates such as “let me show you something,” “can you picture that,” and “did you see what just went on there?” etc.
People that operate primarily through their auditive modality also stand and sit up straight however they do not arch the back like in the case of the visual. They are standing in one straight line from head to feet. They too will make gestures with their hands as they speak, but not often. However, when they do make gestures, these will typically be close to their own ears. Gestures will be somewhat slower than with the visual primary. The tempo of speech is more ”normal.” Also, a curious fact about people with a highly activated auditive modality, and one that you can use to your advantage in pre-set calibration is that they are typically great at recalling words, they sing along to a lot of songs. Nice to know, when you’re spotting at a bar or a night club.
When approaching an auditive primary make sure to calibrate on their tonality and tempo of speech, and use predicate phrases such as “Listen,” “let me tell you something,” and “here’s a story for you.”
People that operate primarily through their kinesthetic modality tend to stand and sit in a ”very relaxed” manner. The body leans slightly forward, and they move very slowly in general. They will often have latency before replying to a question, because they are sensing how the words feel before they let them out. Their movements and gestures are calm and rarely very noticeable. They tend to touch themselves and oftentimes other people or things as they speak.
When approaching a kinesthetic primary you need to slow down your overall pace in body movements and tempo of speech, and immediate KINO is highly recommended. You can use predicate phrases such as “I could sense something about you,” (introducing a cold read or a flat out compliment), “Do you ever get the notion that,” and “how do you feel about.”
So, there you have it, some basic guidelines on how to apply NLP-oriented observational skills in you pre-set (and in-set) calibration. Be sure to swing by my blog for other seduction-relevant articles.
Here’s to your continued seductive success!