Posted by Vince Lin on September 17, 2010
Guest post by Get Me The Girl
“Hey could you do me a favour? Could you get to know my friend Sarah, she’s on her own and doesn’t know you guys. And she is quite shy in general… Could you make her feel welcome?” asked your friend.
Sure, you’re a sociable guy and wouldn’t want to leave somebody out of the fun just because they are new to the social circle. Turns out she is the hottest girl at the party! She just doesn’t have the confidence to match it.
She looks like the kind of girl that doesn’t feel comfortable with being the centre of attention, so her best option is to stay out the way and be on defense.
Getting close to these kinds of girl is going to be difficult because of this. Whoever you are they will play it safe and rather not get to know you than to be sociable.
Stereotypically she is the type of girl that mummy and daddy brought up to be a good little girl. She has exquisite table manners, only speaks when spoken to, writes her name on her coat tag and wears mittens in the winter.
More than likely she doesn’t agree with make up either so is a natural beauty! Before even talking to her you have pointed out you don’t have much in common!
She would rather be at home right now on the sofa with the fire on and the company of her dog and a book. Basically she values other things higher than going out and getting drunk. You can’t blame her; it’s over rated anyway. But meeting new people isnt! She just hasn’t developed the confidence to do that from reading her Harry Potter books.
The point is, she isnt going to change. She isnt going to become an outgoing confidence alpha female (I’m talking short term).
This girl isn’t one to break either. It’s all or nothing with shy girls; they tend to be more traditional than the average outgoing woman when it comes to relationships. You’re not going to get a one night stand or a fuck buddy out of her. But that’s not what we’re here for anyway because we want the bigger package.
For some, your biggest challenge with a girl like this will be the fact that since you have started training you have learnt to deal with bitch shields, initial disinterest, statements of disinterest etc. It has been part of your game that you have perfected because now you expect those things to be said, yet you stay unaffected and continue to game.
Shy girls won’t give you any of that. She will either talk to you or get shy and walk away. The average outgoing woman is intrigued to find out who you are when you first approach, the shy girl thinks how nerve-racking it is to talk to you.
How to Get It
Just because you may not be her type, doesn’t mean you can’t get along or have anything in common. Dull down your game because she won’t take any hard teasers or sexual talk very well.
Let her be shy. Don’t try and be her life coach and unlock the inner confidence inside her. If she wanted that to happen she would go seek advice herself.
You need to make her feel comfortable being around you. At first try and get to know her as much as possible. Show a real interest into what she does as a job and what her favourite things are to do in her spare time. I ntroduce her to a few people there as your friend.
Step it up when you think she is ready. Play a few games with her like marry, murder, kiss. Be as enthusiastic as you can, because she will naturally get excited too.
Personally I would close this one on the second time. Being too fast may scare her off; remember she is very fragile when it comes to meeting new people.
People open up when you ask them abou t a real favourite topic of theirs. For instance have a discussion about vegetables with me and I’ll be bored as hell and will probably switch off. But as soon as you ask me about picking up women and Get me the Girl, I won’t shut up. I could go on for days, and then they wish they hadn’t asked!
So if you can find the things that she really likes (e.g. music, travel, sport etc.) then you’ll see that she will start to talk. Be interested, and contribute to the discussion.
The key is to slowly but surely raise the tempo until she is hooked. She isnt going to be one who is going to take you home just because you have entertained her for the night, she needs to believe that you have true potential.
So now we can start doing some preparation for that second date. Find ou t her topics and hobbies and base it around them. Find things that you both share an interest in, or something really cool that she does that you would like to visit/see. For example if she paints in her spare time, say how cool that is and you would love to see her work sometime (of course only say it if you have some genuine interest for it).
Tell her it’s been cool hanging out with her, and that you should meet up again sometime for some more banter. Plan a date that shows a more interest in her hobbies. Or something that shows you are investing time or money such as taking her to a theme park. You need to let her know that you are into her to some point.
Ideal Date Idea
As mentioned above, the best ideas are to do something that she is into. It gives her a sense of responsibility if you have asked her to show her something she does. How good will she feel if you have a genuine interest in her art (let’s just stick to that example) so you come over and check out all her work. In your mind, it was a way to get round her house so you can take it to the next level.
Whatever you do, don’t do it with friends at first. She will get all shy around your mates, and the more time you commit the more you will connect. So a trip to a theme park is good because you have all day to get to know each other. If she isn’t comfortable with you by the end then either you have played it bad or she is has a deeper issue than just shyness!
To get to a stage of having sex, don’t be surprised if you have to ‘meet the parents’ and everything before! Of course you are the one in control, but to a point you should play by
her rules too. She will be into you more if you can win the family over too.
From here on in it’s the same as usual. She isn’t shy anymore, in fact she isnt a shy girl at all, but she just felt uncomfortable in that scenario. Everything runs as usual at this point.
Slowly but surely introduce her to your friends, and show an interest to meet hers too. Befriend all of them, even if they are shy like her. There’s nothing better than a best friend telling her what a cool guy you are. They trust their best friend’s opinion!
Attraction – “If you could be anywhere in the world right now, the place that makes you most happy, where would it be?” This question digs a bit deeper than the average question and requires her to give you more than a one word answer. It will make open up a bit more and develop into a decent conversation.
Comfort – “What do you do for fun? (Her response) Really! I’ve always been jealous of people who are good at art; it’s such a cool talent. I can draw stick men?! You’ll have to show me your work sometime” By showing such interest she will feel more commonality with you. Plus it sets up a reason to meet her again.
For more advice on picking up shy girls, check out Get Me The Girl.